Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
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I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
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I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Congratulations! We have a period
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize