I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I fill condoms, not promises.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
