handjob tips. give me some.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize