OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
