Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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