Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
