Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize