the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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