dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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