it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
