I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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