Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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