lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
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I want you more than these girls want KFC
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
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After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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