I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
