Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
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She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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