come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
