So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
