I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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