its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
You've changed since you got that strap on
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
