We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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