I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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