i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
