all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
