i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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