turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
