I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
God, you're like boner-b-gone
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize