I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
