so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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