some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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