This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
4 words: hood of his car
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
My bed smells like the plague
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
