I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
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