I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
