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adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
