Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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