I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
