id be glad to
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
The Olympian is in my bed
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
