Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
you inspire me to be a worse person
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
