She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
another moral hangover. fuck.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
