Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
