i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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