As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
