FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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