tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
