I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
