doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
