I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?