your thong is hanging out like whoa
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
The struggles of a small town man whore
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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