i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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