what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
