So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
