New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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