So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
