he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
