4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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