Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

how do you have sooo much energy?

(571): View more from Virginia

billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week

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(828): View more from North Carolina

Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish

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(301): View more from Maryland

The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...

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(586): View more from Michigan

Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?

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(706): View more from Georgia

The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it

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