i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
