thus making me awesome and them whores
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
