Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
