I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
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Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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