Can Purell be used as lube?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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