people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
