I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
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When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize