And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize