so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
